An Excerpt.

The snow-filled wind blows all around me and I can't help but think of cruel irony.
As the ground becomes cool and hard in the frigid air, my heart is beginning to thaw.
The icicles form, the flakes drift to their predestined places,
and I find myself beginning to spark on the inside.

The last 6 months of my life have been the hardest.
They have been the coolest, the loneliest, the weakest.
I would sit inside on a beautiful summer day, the kind that my soul used to rejoice in.
I would lay in my bed and cry, shaking with the stifling of sobs and the swallowing of lies.
My heart broke.
My hope scattered.
My soul despaired.
My entire being was overcome by the aching in my spirit.
I closed my eyes and succumbed to the blackness.

I sat in a pit of lies and numbness for months.
I let myself.
I let myself stay there because I knew I couldn't get out on my own and no one would help me climb.
I was afraid to feel the breaking again.
I didn't want to feel if it means I would only feel pain...


"Jesus… Jesus…"


 I called for You.
I called out as many times as I could muster.
And I will call for all the rest of my days.
For I am weak.
I am tired.
I am selfish.
I am unequipped.
I am sinful.
I am afraid.
I am bitter.
I am broken….

But You.
You love me.
You've called me.
You've redeemed me.
You call me Holy.
You call me Daughter…


Though I'm not out of the pit yet,
though I am slow at climbing from the ocean of bitterness,
the frozen walls around my heart are beginning to thaw,
just as the fresh winds of winter settle in.