Homeward Bound.

I have officially booked my flight. 

I am officially moving to Phuket, Thailand on January 7th, 2014. 

It feels completely surreal to see my name on an e-ticket to Phuket. 

Mostly because for months, there has been a little voice inside my head telling me I'm not meant to do this. 

That I am not meant to travel the world and tell stories. 

I am not meant to introduce people to the great, uncontainable love of Jesus. 

That I should just suck it up and stay here because I'm turning 23 and it's time to start actually working and saving for retirement... or something like that. 

I guess my whole internal conflict comes from hearing people talk about how hard missions are,

and how they had to literally give up everything to go. 

And in my heart, I know that's true most of the time. 

But the dream I have for my life, the deepest desire of my heart is to do missions. 

It honestly feels like I had to give up everything to come home... 

I would silently wonder if something was wrong with me because I WANT to be uncomfortable, and sweaty, and stared at constantly for my white skin. 

I thrive eating mystery meat and dancing for 3 hours in church. 

I live for the moments when I get to worship under more stars than I've ever seen,

and I am much more comfortable sleeping on the floor than a bed now... 

So I've been struggling with this idea.

Shouldn't I want to stay here like everyone else God? 

Shouldn't I be comfortable here?

Shouldn't I love being close to my family and friends?

I guess the answer is no. 

Because the fact that I am so assured in my spirit that this was the life I was always created to live, it makes me actually shake with joy knowing that I am stepping into my destiny.

I'm tired of thinking that my dreams aren't allowed to line up with God's dreams. 

And honestly, if it weren't for God's plans, I wouldn't be here in the first place. 

I am not saying that I didn't have to give up things when I chose this life.

I've had to give up a lot in the past, and will have to give up a lot when I get on my plane on January 7th.

I am leaving the best roommates I will probably ever have. 

Meeting guys is almost impossible overseas (not that I'm looking to meet guys, but I do want to get married eventually...) 

I'm trusting God that my family will be alright without me. 

I'm trusting God that my friends here won't forget about me. 

I'm giving up security and choosing faith instead. 

which we all know is never easy. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have never been more excited to do anything in my life. 

My dreams are coming true. 

It has been one heck of journey leading up to this, but it will pale in comparison to the journey I am stepping into. 

I am still looking for monthly supporters as well as one time donations. 

If you feel led to donate, please look at the support page for instructions on how to do so.