There is something so magical about being in a new place.
Exploring and discovering new parts of a new city.
With each step discovering and creating a new side of myself.
Thailand feels like a dream,
though I think of it often.
I've now forgotten the harsh words that were spoken,
the situations that seemed to have no solution.
I've left behind the hopelessness of it all and I've stepped into this new season of rest.
Taking with me only everything that was good and perfect about my Thailand life.
I miss it every day.
Some days I smile, fondly thinking back on how silly my sweet Thai friends are.
Other days I lay in my bed sobbing because my heart so longs to be where I am most home.
But I'm learning to be thankful when I should be angry.
I'm learning to be okay when I want to hide from everyone.
I'm learning that this is my life, here and now,
and that resting is not a waste of time.
So here I am, standing on the other side of the same ocean
and I can't help but be thankful for that season, as hard as it was.
I hated and loved every moment of it.
But now there is only hope as I look forward into the unknown.
Now there is only peace as I stand on the west coast of my home country
and become someone new.
